So You Wanna Fix Your Relationship? Read This!

Did you know the 50% divorce rate? This is a massive and scary statistic. Did you know that those same people who get divorced, those same people have a higher chance of another divorce? Of the people that stay married, a large majority of them are unhappy in their relationship. 

Even a lot of people who are in long-term relationships have dysfunctional relationships.  When my clients require the services of a life coach to help them with their relationships it is, in large part because the way they manage their relationships is flawed and needs to be acknowledged, addressed and hopefully to some extent, rectified. If you want an excellent relationship, then you have to start taking it very seriously.

Most people take their relationships too casually as if they have mastered something that they have never bothered to learn about.

You must be willing to study how to create a successful relationship, rather than automatically assume that you are a master of it already. Don’t assume that you know how to love and what love is.

Don’t think that because you can talk, that you know how to communicate or that because you have had sex before, now you are a great lover.

How often does a simple debate turn into an uncontrolled raging argument because one or the other cannot manage their emotions?

This ignorance keeps people in the dark and keeps the cycle happening again and again, no matter how many times they may change partners. Don’t assume that you know what a good relationship is.

You are not born knowing how to create a good relationship. Guys know very little about girls and girls know very little about guys and because of that fact, it is very difficult to have a successful relationship.

The solution is to study the psychology of men and women. To study yourself. Learn how to be a great lover. Not how to be good in bed, but how to make your partner feel valued during those intimate times. Think about this, if you want to become a successful sports person, you must practice diligently and get a good coach.

Commit to a path of mastery. The same applies to a budding singer. They get a great coach, who will show them how they can better themselves and deliver a great performance.

You need to work deeply on yourself, on all your potential hang-ups that can ruin your relationship. Work on yourself because you cannot control the other person in the relationship.

If you are not getting the results that you want, then you must admit to yourself that you don’t know enough about what you are trying to do. It may not always be pretty to work on yourself, but you may find the rewards will far outweigh the uncomfortable feeling of looking within.

4 Things that you can work on from Today that can amend your relationship

1. You cannot be in a successful relationship, all while fearing that if the other person leaves you, then you will not function. Be confident in who you are and what you can offer the world.

2. Sort out your finances and career. Finances cause a lot of stress in a relationship.

3. Take care of your health. Sort out your health and fitness.

4. Work on your psychology. Work on your neurotic behaviour problems that are often a huge cause of relationship issues.

The things that are worthwhile in your life will take work and effort.

Communication skills

A lack of communication skills can ruin relationships. If you lack communication skills you will have problems with your spouse, at work, with employees/co-workers, and with clients.

Having communication skills will have a profound impact on even the simplest communication tasks like placing an order at a restaurant to something impactful like getting a job or doing a presentation.

6 keys to communication skills

1. Assertiveness. When you communicate, you usually want something to come about. You are trying to convey some sort of message and have some sort of impact. When you are not assertive enough, your message can go unheard or misinterpreted, then you don’t get what you want. Don’t be a pushover. When you communicate your words and intentions must be taken seriously. You must be confident in your delivery.

2. Authenticity. This is about being true to yourself. How often when you are communicating are you authentic to yourself and your beliefs? Often this does not happen because they want to be polite and not offend people. You must first know what your authenticity is. When you know this, you must make an effort to let this shine. When you are authentic, you will be happy with yourself.

3. Open-mindedness. You are willing to consider other perspectives and point-of-views. Don’t be too quick to judge and criticize. Be willing to listen to a person and consider their ideas. This is critical to your growth as a person because it allows you to see beyond your own beliefs and ideas.

4. Empathy. The other person wants to feel like they are being heard and understood. People want to feel valued and have something in common with each other. When you don’t have or practice empathy with someone, then they will notice this and feel disconnected from you. Especially important during intimate relationships.

5. Clarity. Communication is not what you meant to say but rather what the other person interpreted from what you said. What the other person hears and understands is what was communicated, not what we intended. Clarity is all about getting your intention in line with what the other person receives. The best type of communication is clear. If people are doing or thinking things differently from how you wanted, then the problem might be that you are not being clear enough on your intentions.

6. Listening. You must be willing to hear what the other person is trying to say. You must create active engagement when someone is talking by asking clarifying questions.