Your Beliefs And Values Control You. Here’s The Top 5 Reason Why

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Donovan - Life Coach

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Have you ever wondered why you keep making the same mistakes, even though you know better? Or why you feel stuck in a certain area of your life, despite your best efforts to change? The answer may lie in your unconscious beliefs and values, the deep-seated assumptions and attitudes that drive your thoughts, emotions, and actions.

While we often think of ourselves as rational beings, the truth is that much of our behaviour is driven by unconscious factors that we may not even be aware of. These beliefs and values are shaped by our upbringing, culture, experiences, and environment, and they can exert a powerful influence on our lives, often without our conscious consent.

In this article, I’ll explore the fascinating world of unconscious beliefs and values, and how they can impact every aspect of our lives, from our careers and finances to our relationships and health. I’ll also discuss practical strategies for identifying and changing limiting beliefs, and cultivating empowering values that can help us live a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

Why Our Unconscious Beliefs and Values Control Our Lives

Our beliefs and values are the lenses through which we view the world, and they shape our perceptions, attitudes, and behaviours in profound ways. They can either empower us to achieve our goals and dreams or hold us back and keep us stuck in self-defeating patterns.

Here are some ways in which our unconscious beliefs and values can control our lives:

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1. They Shape Our Self-Identity

Our beliefs and values influence how we see ourselves and our place in the world. If we hold limiting beliefs such as “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve success,” we may struggle with low self-esteem and confidence, which can impact our ability to pursue our goals and aspirations. On the other hand, if we cultivate empowering beliefs such as “I am capable and worthy of success,” we may feel more confident and motivated to take action towards our dreams.

2. They Influence Our Decisions and Actions

Our beliefs and values also impact the choices we make and the actions we take. If we hold limiting beliefs such as “I’ll never be able to change” or “I’m a failure,” we may feel discouraged and give up before even trying. On the other hand, if we cultivate empowering beliefs such as “I can learn and grow from my mistakes” or “I’m resilient and persistent,” we may be more likely to persevere and overcome obstacles.

3. They Impact Our Relationships

Our beliefs and values can also affect our relationships with others. If we hold negative beliefs about ourselves or others, such as “People can’t be trusted” or “I’ll always be alone,” we may struggle to form meaningful connections with others. On the other hand, if we cultivate positive beliefs such as “People are inherently good” or “I am capable of forming healthy relationships,” we may be more open and receptive to building strong bonds with others.

4. They Determine Our Success and Fulfillment

Ultimately, our beliefs and values can determine our level of success and fulfilment in life. If we hold limiting beliefs such as “I’ll never be able to achieve my goals” or “I don’t deserve happiness,” we may sabotage our success and miss out on opportunities that could lead to greater fulfilment. On the other hand, if we cultivate empowering beliefs such as “I can achieve anything I set my mind to” or “I deserve to live a happy and fulfilled life”.

5. They Are Often Unconscious

Perhaps the most insidious aspect of our beliefs and values is that they are often unconscious, meaning that we are not even aware of them. These hidden assumptions and attitudes can operate beneath the surface, guiding our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without our conscious awareness. As a result, we may feel confused or frustrated about why we are not achieving our goals or experiencing the level of success and fulfilment we desire.

How to Identify and Change Limiting Beliefs

If our unconscious beliefs and values are holding us back, how can we identify and change them? Here are some practical strategies:

1. Pay Attention to Your Inner Dialogue

Our inner dialogue, the self-talk that goes on inside our heads, can be a powerful indicator of our beliefs and values. If you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, such as “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough,” this may be a sign of a limiting belief. Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge any negative or self-defeating thoughts with more empowering and positive ones.

2. Examine Your Behavior Patterns

Our behaviours can also reveal our beliefs and values. If you consistently engage in behaviours that are not aligned with your goals or values, this may be a sign of a limiting belief. For example, if you consistently procrastinate or avoid taking action towards your goals, this may be a sign of a belief that you are not capable or worthy of success. Examine your behaviour patterns and ask yourself what underlying beliefs may be driving them.

3. Reflect on Your Childhood and Upbringing

Our childhood and upbringing can have a profound impact on our beliefs and values. Reflect on your childhood experiences and ask yourself what beliefs and values you may have developed as a result. Were you raised to believe that success is only for the lucky few? Did you receive messages that you were not good enough or smart enough? By understanding the source of your beliefs and values, you can begin to challenge and change them.

4. Seek Out Different Perspectives

Our beliefs and values are often shaped by the people and communities we surround ourselves with. Seek out different perspectives and expose yourself to new ideas and ways of thinking. Engage in conversations with people who have different beliefs and values than your own, read books and articles on topics that challenge your assumptions, and attend workshops or events that expand your horizons.

How to Cultivate Empowering Values

In addition to identifying and changing limiting beliefs, we can also cultivate empowering values that can help us achieve our goals and live a more fulfilling life. Here are some practical strategies:

1. Clarify Your Core Values

Our values are the principles and ideals that are most important to us. By clarifying our core values, we can align our goals and actions with what truly matters to us. Take some time to reflect on what values are most important to you. Are you driven by a sense of purpose, connection, growth, or contribution? Write down your core values and use them as a guide for making decisions and taking action.

2. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation

Gratitude and appreciation are powerful values that can help us cultivate a more optimistic outlook on life. By focusing on what we are grateful for, we can shift our attention away from our problems and challenges and towards the abundance and opportunities that surround us. Make a habit of practising gratitude and appreciation every day, whether by keeping a gratitude journal, expressing thanks to others, or simply taking time to appreciate the beauty and wonder of the world around you.

3. Embrace Growth and Learning

Our beliefs and values are not set in stone; they can evolve and change over time. By embracing growth and learning as core values, we can continue to expand our horizons and achieve our full potential. Seek out opportunities for personal and professional development, take on new challenges and responsibilities, and approach each day as an opportunity to learn and grow.

4. Cultivate Connection and Community

As social beings, we are wired for connection and community. By cultivating these values, we can create a sense of belonging and support that can help us navigate life’s ups and downs. Make an effort to connect with others who share your interests and values, join clubs or groups that align with your goals, and reach out to friends and family for support and encouragement.

FAQs

Q: Can our beliefs and values change over time?

A: Yes, our beliefs and values are not set in stone. They can evolve and change over time as we gain new experiences, perspectives, and information.

Q: How can we identify our unconscious beliefs and values?

A: Paying attention to our inner dialogue, examining our behaviour patterns, reflecting on our childhood and upbringing, and seeking out different perspectives can all help us identify our unconscious beliefs and values.

Q: What can we do to change limiting beliefs?

A: Challenging negative self-talk, examining our behaviour patterns, reflecting on our childhood and upbringing, and seeking out different perspectives are all strategies that can help us change limiting beliefs.

Q: How can we cultivate empowering values?

A: Clarifying our core values, practising gratitude and appreciation, embracing growth and learning, and cultivating connection and community are all strategies that can help us cultivate empowering values.

Conclusion

Our beliefs and values play a powerful role in shaping our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. While many of our beliefs and values operate beneath our conscious awareness, they can have a profound impact on our lives. By identifying and changing limiting beliefs and cultivating empowering values, we can align our goals and actions with what truly matters to us and live a more fulfilling life. Remember, awareness is the first step towards change, and every small step we take can lead to a brighter future.

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Donovan – Life Coach – 078 952 0328

Donovan - Life Coach

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